Moms

It has now been ten years since my mother passed away suddenly while we were at a quilt show. It seems like yesterday. Whenever something exciting happens in my life I instinctively still reach for the phone to tell mom. My daughter was only 5 at the time and I remember thinking it wasn't fair that she will never know the most wonderful woman in the world that adored her dearly. Over the years I have experienced motherhood myself which has oftentimes made me want to call my mother and apologize to her. Only a mother can really understand...in good time and in bad. I am truly shocked at how it hasn't gotten any easier to live without her. I don't cry as often and I am living my life but it still isn't fair that she isn't here to see what an phenomenal woman her granddaughter is growing into. It isn't fair that she can't see her tapdance and listen to stories about her first kiss. My mother was famous so my daughter hears about her all the time from quilters that remember her. The things my mother was going to accomplish in this world didn't get done. The quilts she could have made! Holidays have never been the same. The thing is....she didn't have to die. She shouldn't have been so stubborn. No time for the doctor. It's in my head. It's a waste of money. I don't have time for this. Please......if you are experiencing ankle swelling, difficulty breathing, repeated colds/pneumonia.....take the time. Go to as many doctors as you have to until you've exhausted all possibilities. Remember that your life isn't just your own. It belongs to your children...grandchildren...husbands...brothers/sisters...all the people that need you and want you in their lives for many years to come.

Sharing

When I was in college I brought my best friend home with me for Thanksgiving because her family lived too far away for her to visit for the holiday. The first morning we went down to the kitchen and I poured us both a glass of milk. As I put some sliced bread in the toaster she took a sip of milk. She looked at her glass curiously and sniffed it. Then she extended her hand towards me and said, in a very matter-of-fact tone, "try this". I took a sip and.....almost became sick in the sink. The milk was more than a little spoiled!
Ever since this incident I have been hyper-aware of people that feel the need to share an unpleasant experience with their so-called friends. "here, smell this". Now I ask you...why do we do this? Its obvious it smells bad. Its obvious it does NOT taste right. Yet....we promptly hand it over to the nearest person and ask for ..verification.
My daughter is really really good at this particular form of sadistic comraderie! You would think we would want to protect our husbands, children or best friends and immediately expell the offending object from our lives lest someone else suffer as we just did. ROFL But nooooooo, we want to SHARE the experience. I bet after you read this and begin paying attention you will soon see your own examples of this phenomenon in your own lives!

Night Owls vs Early Birds

This post is going to be a bunch of random musings really. LOL Which one are you? I am definitely a morning person....early bird. I love mornings. Its a new day and nothing has gone wrong yet. Its fresh. Its clean. Full of hope. Its usually quiet, early in the morning, and my brain is rested and ready to go.
In college though...I was a night owl. All those lovely night hours seemed such a shame to waste on sleeping. I looked at the night as free time to socialize, catch up on studying, get my apartment cleaned, be productive. Sleep? What is that? I can always catch up on that later. I know this seems typical of college or high school kids but I have to really wonder what makes us morning people vs night people.
Is it more of a schedule issue? Some quilters I talk to have a busy family and the night time is really their only quiet time to get stuff done. Whereas my family schedule makes it so the morning is the quiet alone time. Is that what we are really looking for? Some quiet time? Because really, if you think about it, early morning and late night are about the same other than the sun. *grin* The world isn't really going yet, the phone isn't ringing, traffic is drastically decreased, business' are closed.... Either way...thank goodness for finding a moment where you can be productive, peaceful and content where you can get your thoughts squared away without constant interruptions!

HOPE

When I was a little girl it was murder waiting for Christmas to finally roll back around. Time practically stood still! As an adult....'What?! Christmas is here again?!". What is it that makes time absolutely fly by now just because I am older? Is it because I don't value Christmas as much as I used to? Has the meaning of Christmas shifted from one of miracles and surprises to a chore that requires money and time?

My own daughter just turned sixteen. She is getting ready to go back to school in two weeks so we have been out shopping for all the necessary items a Junior in high school MUST have. She goes to boarding school in Pebble Beach, California so her needs are different than that of a kid that stays home. This issue of 'time' flying by keeps rearing its ugly head. It was only yesterday that she was just so small, cute and fun to dress. Now...she has her own sense of style and idea of 'correct fit'. When she came out of the dressing room....finally...time stood still again...like when I was a child waiting for Christmas. This child suddenly stood before me as a young woman. A mature young adult that hasn't made any mistakes yet. She is perfect right now. Straight A's, perfect weight, healthy skin and believes she can change the world and make it better by tomorrow. Her smile lights up the room and her hope for the future overflows her cup. I remember this point in my life and feel like from here on everything goes downhill. Disappointments and failures await in her future. How can they not? When you start out perfect there is nowhere to go but downhill. I want so badly to tell her that her youthful ideas have been tried before and...failed. Not to dash her hopes but to prevent her the pain of those hopes being stomped on ruthlessly. Yet....maybe....is there hope? Perhaps she WILL change the world. Maybe mortgages, taxes, insurance and personal relationships will be better handled by this new generation. Thank the heavens for the younger generations with their eternal happiness and optimism, for us older generations have grown very pessimistic and tired of fighting the 'system'.